Being A Mom

So this is sappy.

Sorry.

(You've been warned if you would like to exit now)

Being a mom is hard.

I'm 21 

married

and a mom

didn't expect that, but here I am.

I've struggled a lot with the "baby blues"

But I hate calling them that because that makes them sound too cute.

They are not cute.

At all.

Like pretty much every new mom I am stuck at home.

I see all of my friends are going on fun trips or just having so much fun in college

and i'm here.

no sleep.

i'm lucky to get a shower.

cranky.

don't get out.

But the past few days I've done a lot better, and it is simply because I realized I really don't want to be anywhere else.

(Sure Italy would be nice but ya know)

I look down at my little guy and I realize he's worth it

(not just saying it to be sappy. He really is)

He's worth the sleepless nights and the lack of adult interaction.

And everytime I get down about not being able to do certain things because I am a wife and a mom at 21 

I have to look at Jackson and think "My husband and I did this, we created this little guy"
And I think "I have managed to snag an amazing guy who I can rely on and trust that absolutely loves me"

And quite honestly I think that is a much greater accomplishment than anything else I could do as a stupid reckless single college kid

I love his little face.

when he opens up his eyes I can't help but smile

I think I kiss him about 1,000 times a day

I love his soft skin and the way he squeaks when he sleeps

I love the way he smells, and the way he looks back at me .

I love how much I absolutely adore him.

I love it that he smiles when he gets gas

and yes I even love his little cry

well most of the time.

At like 3 in the morning It's not that cute I'll be honest.

But all in all I wouldn't trade where I am at.

Sure I see other women that look so much more qualified to have the job I do, and I feel bad that Jackson got stuck with me sometimes.

But i'm learning and I think that counts for something.